I'd love to know whether anyone has ever come up with a Psychic Cost of Crap Calculator. The
I can see by your muddled expression that I need to be more detailed. As any suburban father can tell you, the already paltry variety of fast food narrows further when there are three children in the back seat who have seen golden arches. They want to go where they can get a happy meal (more on the biting irony of that moniker in a later installment). The reason they want the happy meal isn't because of their craving for parts is parts nuggets of chicken or deep fried fries. No. They crave the plastic wrapped toy dropped in each bag.
Hang with me. What is the cost of that toy? Let's say it happens to be a squashed version of
But how could that be? Because once that little sith lord gets into the paws of one of your children, it becomes a part of your collection of crap. Lest I be accused of being crude, I am using the word "crap" for its technical definition of something with a net worth less than zero. It may have some postive value, unfortunately it is outweighed by its negative value. I'm pretty sure that that's the definition for crap in the Wikipedia - or it will be about five minutes after I finish this entry.
That toy once it gets into you car is something you have to get out of the car at some point. Even if you are just scooping it up to throw it away, it has already crossed the line into crapdom. More likely your child, in the shallowest resemblance of responsbility, will get the toy out of the car with them. Unfortunately, the thin veil will be torn the second anything else remotely interesting appears within your child's field of view. Then the toy will be dropped, kicked or thrown to the side. From wherever it lands, the negative value will only grow. If it just lays there it contributes to the disorder in the room (It craps the room up). If you wind up picking it up to put away (and is there really any place for it other than the trash), more time wasted on crap. Finally, if left on the floor, you manage to step on it barefooted later in the evening...well nobody likes stepping on crap.
The
1 comment:
I like vanilla. One time I had some vanilla ice cream and it was cold. Shackleton was cold. I would have named my ship The Warm Blanket. That's a blanket statement, like the one I get in the mail from the bank. You can bank on that. That which has been done cannot be undone. Hold down the control key and press the Z key to undo the last action. I haven't seen action since Korea. I fought at the Chosun peninsula. Florida is the most chosen peninsula for vacations. His florid complexion was offset buy his sky blue tuxedo. Among the common flora of the Amazon rain forest is the orchid. Vanilla comes from orchid pods. I like vanilla (but not ice ice baby).
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